6 Practical Tips to break-free from technology’s grip
1. Spot that digital red flag
First things first: it’s important to recognize when technology is negatively impacting your relationship.
It’s like that sneaky friend who always shows up uninvited, right? Is your partner texting you from the other room instead of just walking over to chat? Come on, you live together; it’s not like you’re in a long-distance relationship! Are you finding yourselves arguing more about phone usage than about who forgot to take the trash out? (Spoiler: it’s always the same person, isn’t it?) You know the type: they’ll insist they were “going to do it” after their Netflix binge.
Recognizing these digital red flags is the first step toward turning the tide and reclaiming your emotional connection. You want to catch these habits before they become the norm, like that time you thought it would be fun to try pineapple on pizza and ended up regretting your life choices.
So, grab your metaphorical magnifying glass, and start investigating the tech habits that might be keeping you both from meaningful interactions.
I always love to write down what I notice, so I don’t blame the other one first. It gives a perspective and clearer view of the sneaky habits.
2. Create a Tech-Free Sanctuary
No, I’m not suggesting you go full “Little House on the Prairie” and start churning butter or living off the grid (though I hear the minimalist lifestyle has its perks). But trust me, establishing tech-free zones can work wonders for your relationship.
Imagine this: you sit down for dinner, and instead of the usual background glow of screens lighting up the table, you get to see each other’s faces. I know, shocking, right? All jokes aside, the husband of a client said, “I forget that the color of your eyes is what made you a crush 21 years ago.” Did you know that the lights street gave a cozy aura to your living room? No, it wasn’t your device’s lights…
Suddenly, it’s not just about what you’re eating, but who you’re eating with.
It’s a whole new world of connection, a better one, trust me. You remember how we craved it while COVID was separating us all, now we have it back and for most of the clients, it’s worse than ever!
You can actually talk, laugh, and maybe even share a story without someone scrolling through their feed halfway through.
Designate your dining area as a no-tech zone—it’s like a magic spell for better conversations. And bonus points if you can actually remember what your partner looks like without the blue light filter! You might be surprised to find out their real eye color again. It’s amazing what happens when you remove the devices and start reconnecting the old-fashioned way: with actual eye contact and uninterrupted conversations.
Who knew, right?
3. Schedule Quality Time (Without the Tech Circus)
Let’s face it: we all schedule work meetings, doctor appointments, and even haircuts, right? We’re pros at booking time for everything that feels urgent or necessary. I know for a fact that most of my female client, has planners and apps for everything, so yes you can do it!
But when was the last time you scheduled some “let’s-actually-remember-why-we-fell-in-love” time? Exactly. It doesn’t just happen on its own; you’ve got to make it a priority! Life gets busy, but if you can plan a dentist appointment three months out, you can surely carve out some quality time with the person you’re building a life with.
So, do yourself a favor and book a regular date night—one where phones are totally off-limits. Seriously, not even for checking that “urgent” text from your friend about their dog’s Instagram. This is about you and your partner. And trust me, when you rediscover what made you swoon in the first place, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start this earlier.
Whether it’s a cozy movie night on the couch (no scrolling!) or an adventurous hike where the only thing that needs charging is your energy, that quality time is key to deepening emotional intimacy. It’s like hitting the refresh button on your relationship, and believe me, we all need that from time to time.
And let’s be real—if you can survive a cooking disaster together, complete with burned garlic bread and a smoke-filled kitchen, you can survive anything! Because nothing says “true love” like laughing your way through a culinary catastrophe.
Plus, those shared moments, big or small, are the glue that keeps your relationship strong when life tries to pull you in a million directions.
4. Mindful Technology Usage: Yes, It’s a Thing!
Being mindful doesn’t mean you have to suddenly start meditating on a mountaintop while wearing flowing robes (unless, of course, that’s your jam—no judgment here!).
It’s much simpler than that.
Being mindful means becoming aware of how you’re using technology and the impact it’s having on your relationship. You don’t have to delete all your apps or swear off social media forever (who’s really ready for that?), but it does mean setting some boundaries.
For starters, try setting specific times during the day to check your social media, and stick to it like you’d stick to a dentist appointment or a gym class you signed up for. By limiting your tech time, you’re freeing up space for more meaningful conversations and fewer awkward moments where you’re absentmindedly scrolling through the abyss of your partner’s high school photos from 2010. Seriously, no one needs that kind of deep dive.
Do you really need to know what their prom looked like or what their hair was doing back then? (Spoiler: it was probably a regrettable decision for everyone.)
The point is, when you’re present, your partner will feel it. And trust me, being lost in the moment with them is way more fulfilling than being lost in the depths of Instagram’s infinite scroll. So, put the phone down, look up, and embrace those little moments of connection.
After all, it’s a lot more fun to make new memories together than to get stuck reliving ones from a decade ago that neither of you really needs to revisit.
5. Have the Talk: “We Need to Talk About Your Screen Time”
Let’s not sugarcoat it—having a conversation about technology use in your relationship can feel more awkward than trying to dance at a wedding when you haven’t had enough champagne.
But here’s the thing: you’re both adults! You can totally handle it.
The key is to approach the topic with empathy and a little humor because no one wants to feel like they’re being nagged about their screen time. Start by sharing how scrolling through TikTok at night feels like falling into a black hole, one that pulls you further and further away from each other while you’re both stuck watching endless dance challenges or DIY hacks you’ll never actually try, or another mesmerizing restock my pantry video (can we talk about that!)
The goal is to create a space where you can both open up about how tech is affecting your connection without it turning into a blame game.
Maybe say something like, “Hey, I love you, but your phone and I have been having a lot of late-night talks lately, and honestly, I’m starting to feel like a third wheel.” It’s light, it’s funny, and it gets the point across. Sometimes, a little humor can soften the awkwardness and lead to more honest conversations. You’re not there to make anyone feel bad; you’re just looking for some real connection that doesn’t involve being sucked into the endless vortex of viral cat videos.
Opening up about your feelings in a non-judgmental way encourages your partner to share theirs, too. And who knows? They might feel the same way but didn’t know how to bring it up!
Starting the conversation is half the battle—and once you’ve done that, you’ll both be better equipped to find a balance between bonding with each other and, well, bonding with your screens.
6. Try Alternative Communication: No, Not Smoke Signal
Let’s be real—texting can lead to miscommunication quicker than you can say “emoji misunderstanding.”
You know how it goes: you send what you think is a cute, sarcastic message, and your partner reads it like you’re mad at them for no reason. Suddenly, you’re in an argument about the tone of a text that was meant to be playful.
It’s wild how fast things can go off the rails with just one misplaced emoji or an autocorrect fail.
Instead of letting texting be the source of unnecessary drama, why not switch things up? Try sending voice notes or, better yet, hopping on a quick video call if you’re apart. There’s just something about hearing each other’s voices or seeing a familiar face that texts can’t compete with. Voice notes have that casual, personal touch that makes even mundane updates feel a little more special. And let’s face it—no one’s ever had a life-changing moment over a thumbs-up emoji.
Or, if you’re feeling extra romantic (and a little adventurous in this digital age), surprise your partner with something truly old-school—a handwritten letter. I know, it sounds almost vintage at this point, but think about it: when’s the last time someone you love took the time to write you something by hand? There’s a charm to it, a tangible effort that’s impossible to replicate with a quick “u up?” text. It’s like a breath of fresh air in a world filled with non-stop digital noise. You don’t have to be a poet, either—just jotting down a few heartfelt lines can make a huge impact. In a world where everything feels instant and disposable, a letter shows you’re willing to slow down, put in a little extra effort, and really connect.
And trust me, when your partner opens that letter, they’ll feel like they’ve stepped into a romantic movie scene—cue the soundtrack and dramatic lighting.
In a world where technology often pulls us apart, it’s crucial to take deliberate steps to keep our relationships healthy and connected. By recognizing the digital pitfalls, setting boundaries, and investing in quality time together, you can create a nurturing emotional environment that fosters love and intimacy. Remember, you’re not just scrolling through your phone; you’re crafting a story with your partner. So, let’s make it a good one!